These Last 10 Days Can Shove It

I am sorry that my updates are so sporadic, and frankly, not even all that interesting.   When I get home from work I’m just too darned tired to get on the computer and think of something fun, witty or quirky to say.  There are no tv shows to review, though I did recently start watching Burn Notice and Big Bang Theory, I am still reserving my judgment on both shows.  I’ve been listening to the Janet Evanovich audio books and I’m enjoying them too, but I can’t say I’m hooked.  Though I would like to eat some Pino’s pizza. 

We had an interesting week last week.  You probably heard about it on the news.  We started out with an earthquake and went out with a bang with hurricane Irene.  Good times.  The earthquake scared the living daylights out of me.  I’m on the 3rdfloor at work, but its 4 stories up and the building was swaying and I was genuinely afraid that a plane had crashed (since I work on a Naval Air Station this wouldn’t be a gigantic surprise) or a truck had run into the building.  The upshot is that I was pretty sure that I was going to be buried in a pile of rubble.  I wasn’t really scared for me so much as I was scared for our little girl.  I’m trying so hard to protect her and then I’m getting myself in earthquakes.  But luckily everything was fine and the worst injury I got was when I slipped off the sidewalk and twisted my ankle because the crowd was rushing me. 

Too Bad They Don't Have Maternity Shirts

The hurricane was uneventful.  Mircea and I hunkered down with the boys in the basement and played Clubhouse Games on our Nintendo DS.  It was really hot down there and since our back door is protected by our deck we had the door open so it was kind of loud but really sort of underwhelming.  However, the next several days were quite “whelming” as we didn’t have any power.  Our awesome neighbors hooked us up to their generator so we didn’t lose anything in our big freezer but my sanity was hanging by a thread since I couldn’t take a warm shower or have a fan blowing on my big pregnant self at night.  Let’s just say I’m not cut out to be Amish.  We were so lucky though; some trees fell in the woods, but nothing in our yard or near our house.  Some of the other neighbors weren’t so lucky.  But as we sat there playing card games every night after work we counted our blessings and on Wednesday evening when the power came back on we whooped for joy and bathed in warm water.  Ahhh.

A little ways up our street

The Ahhhh quickly wore off for me when I went to the Doctor on Wednesday.  I don’t have my official diagnosis yet, but at the very least I have a Urinary Tract Infection and at the worst a kidney infection (which is why I kept waking up with this weird back pain-it was my darned kidneys).  Both of these options are not fun, particularly since I have a 4+ lb baby resting her head oh-so-gently on my bladder.  Speaking of the baby, yeah, we’ve only got about 6-8 weeks before we meet that little lady.  I can’t wait.  And yes, I’m terrified of delivery.

So today I’m going to leave work a little early, take my giant bucket of cranberry juice up to my bed and watch the Lion King.  Hakuna Matata people, Hakuna Matata.    

 

It Means No Worries

 

 

My Confession: Glee, I Love You

I’m not going to lie to all you Gleeks out there. I thought you were total losers. Lame-Os. Seriously, who wants to watch a show about high-schoolers where everyone breaks into song at completely irreverent times? I mocked you nerds for an entire year and then last September I was watching tv and saw the promo for Glee and I said “well, I don’t have a damn thing to do tonight, let’s mock some nerds”. (I didn’t say this)

Yeah, I got this photo from Teen.com

Well, I didn’t have that much to mock when I actually watched it. The characters are really well developed (with the exception of the African American boy who never speaks but is often in performances, not sure what that’s about) and the issues that are addressed are pretty real for a lot of high-schoolers. The writing is witty as all get out and although I began my Glee addiction actually fast forwarding through the musical numbers because I thought they were lame, I’ve recently downloaded some of the Glee songs. Do you know why? Two words: Darren Criss.

Holy heck this guy makes the show for me. Not because he’s good looking (and over 18 mind you). The Warblers made me really enjoy the music on the show and I’ve even gotten to the point where I can listen to the over-singing of Michelle Lea without fast forwarding. I thought Darren Criss was the perfect addition to this show, and the crush that Kurt had on him was a perfect story line. The character that Criss plays, Blaine for all of you that still resist this perfectly wonderful show, is just amazing. Now I’m not a gay man in high school, but I just love the way his character exudes an outward confidence in the person that he is, although readily admits to insecurities that he doesn’t let rule his life. How great is this for any high school (or younger) kid to hear? Oh, and did I mention that he’s hot?

So you’ve got a little over a month to get over your mocking, to let go of that “I’m not going to follow what all of the dorks at my office watch on TV” attitude and get caught up on Glee before the new season starts. They are on streaming Netflix so you can get all the ins and outs of the Rachel-Finn-Quinn love triangle, which I actually find painfully boring since I think all three characters are shallow and pedantic. ($1 to my friends that know that quote. No cheating, you just have to know what it’s from right off the bat. I’ll know if you Googled it. I know these things)

To tide you over, here’s my favorite Glee song so far, featuring Blaine and the Warblers. Enjoy!

I Love This!

Every time I see this commercial I just want to squeal. I love the look that the mom and the adorable little girl share and then when “Lilli” jumps up to the jogging stroller. I just love this commercial so much-I’ll admit, I’ve rewound it on the DVR just so I could see the little head cock and “Hi” that “Lilli” does.
I can’t wait to meet my daughter and take her “jogging”. Ok I can’t wait to meet her and maybe take her on a slow walk with her fur brothers. I just really look forward to those years when my little girl is still young, sweet and innocent and still loves me.

Pet Peeves: Bring ’em On

That’s kind of a loaded question because most of us don’t have just one pet peeve. We have a long list of things that drive us nuts and a hopefully much shorter list of things that make us want to go ballistic and start spewing hot lava out of our mouths. (This has only happened to me once, it was scary.) Since I’m in a snarky mood this morning and someone did this to me already today, I’ll start with one of my biggest pet peeves.

  • You know when you walk by someone who is in a conversation with someone else and they try to bring you in with something lame like “Oh and then we’ll get Kate to join us later, blah blah blah”? Or the even more annoying, “oh yeah, that sounds like something Kate wouldn’t like” or some other stupid, unrelated comment to bring someone else into the lame conversation that I am not even slightly interested in. I hate this. This usually occurs on the way to the bathroom or when you have a friend waiting downstairs to take you to lunch. One of my co-workers does this all the time, and usually, he skulks away because frankly, he had no clue what he was doing in the first place and needed my competent butt to save his. 
  • Do not axe me a question. The sentence is “we were going to” not “we was going to” and you did not “seen” him earlier, you saw him. What the hell school did some people go to? Seriously? This happens at my office every day with college educated people. And that’s something else I’ve learned; a college education means diddly squat for having a brain. I know a total moron, TOTAL moron who is getting a 4.0 in his Master’s program. I’m not 100% sure that he can breathe and think at the same time he’s so dumb.
  • People that read while driving. Is there anything else that I can say about this? Are you seriously getting caught up on the news while you are driving your car? How many accidents has this caused? Why is this not illegal but talking on a cell phone is? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?
  • When couples say “we’re pregnant”. This is not one of my top pet peeves, but it’s weird. We aren’t anything. We had sex and soon we will have a baby, but we are not pregnant. We do not get up 1000 times in the middle of the night to pee; we don’t even hold each other’s hair when we are throwing up. We don’t have what feels like a large fish swimming around our belly and our boobs don’t hurt. Also, on a side note, I am not eating for two. Baby doesn’t want the chocolate cake-I want the damn chocolate cake, but if it makes your fat butt feel better to claim it’s the kid that wants it, so be it, but my fat ass wants the cake.
  • Young men’s jeans. What the hell are you wearing? You fall into two camps but you share one

    the purse drives the look home

    common denominator, showing your damned underwear. The first came is the ridiculous baggy pants, riding fully under your butt and when you are running down the street in my neighborhood, you are grabbing the crotch to hold them up while you run. (I have no idea why the crotch is the best place to hold to keep your pants up unless you’re just trying to touch your junk. When my pants are too loose (ha!) I wear a belt or kind of grab at the side but you will never see me holding my crotch and running after my friends. Well, never again. The other camp of young men jeans wearers are the skinny jeans. This actually pisses me off way more than the baggy jeans. First of all, you look like a tool. I mean seriously, skinny jeans on anyone don’t really impress me, but skinny jeans on a greasy looking teenage boy make me want to 1.) shout out the car window and tell them they look stupid and 2.) shout out the car window for their parents’ phone number so I can call them and tell them to get their kid some jeans that don’t look so freakin’ stupid. And if the skinny jeans themselves weren’t enough there is this “fashion forward” way of wearing them that involves pulling them down over your butt and tight ass walking around with those on. WTH is this? It looks like a teenage boy borrowed their elementary school sister’s jeans and wore them out. There is often a really ridiculous belt associated with this look as well. Hey, at least they aren’t holding their crotch in the skinny jeans…

  • Walking in the middle of the road and giving a car behind you a dirty look when they want to drive. What is this? When exactly did the road become the sidewalk and cars aren’t welcome on it? (Why is it that so many of my rants involve the road? And teenagers? I’ll tell you why, my frakin’ neighborhood with all its teenage hoodlums.) I will be driving down the road in my super quiet “Sneak up and run over the skateboarders” Prius and there will be a wall of kids, 5 or 6 thick just walking in traffic. So I slow down and they keep looking back, but do they get over? NO they do not get over; they keep walking, talking and being losers. My other favorite is the skateboarders in my neighborhood (by the way if anyone buys my kid a skateboard I will come to your house and bash you over the head with it. I’m not kidding. TRY ME) who have their headphones in and lackadaisically skate down the street all while being tailed by a white Prius with an irate pregnant woman in it. They coolly look back and every once and awhile they get over, but my favorite is when they have to do some sort of skate trick (that inevitably) fails, right in front of my car. This is a thing of beauty. One last trick, one last “eff you” to the driver who wants to drive on the street. And this trick usually involves the moronic kid attempting some sort of skatey flip thing and falling to the ground. I will admit, one time, ONE TIME, I looked around to see if there were any witnesses and I considered driving right over this asshole because he does this shit every single day. Hey, I didn’t do it. I’m still going to Heaven, right?
  • People who don’t courtesy flush. There are no fans in our bathrooms at work. When you go potty, do a courtesy flush, just do it. The stink factor goes down exponentially and although you may get a bidet like splash from our ridiculously sprinkly toilets, it will be a refreshing part of your day.
  • Stopping dead in your tracks while walking to answer your phone, look at your grocery list, or pick your nose. This is best done when you are in the entrance or exit of the grocery store. Even better when it’s raining and you are trapping people out in the rain while your fat butt gets all situated with your cart. I guess the real pet peeve is that no one gives a rat’s ass anymore about the people around them. All courtesy is gone. People walk around as though they have blinders on and the only people that matter are themselves and maybe their family. And what happened to these two words “excuse me”? Why must people just push and attempt to jam by, when two little words of polite, cordial attitude will get the large pregnant woman out of your way when you decide that the shortest distance between point A and B is the line in front of the butcher counter at Nick’s.

    You Talkin' to Me?

  • Anyone who doesn’t like Peyton Manning. Shut up, he’s awesome. Now his brother Eli…

So what are your pet peeves? Am I dead wrong on these? Do you like skinny jeans on a man? Are you a skateboarder (if so, give me your address, I’ll teach you a lesson. Seriously, I’m a fan of Tony Hawk but for the amateur jackasses in the parking lot at Food Lion and in my neighborhood, shove off. You just look like an asshole in your skinny jeans and greasy ass hair style) who thinks you look bitchin’ out there? Well you’re wrong.

Getting Things in Order

I had a great visit with Nikki this past week.  It was a much needed vacation, but I’ll tell you, I am ready for more time off work.  Though my next days off will be consumed by a squalling infant, I still think it’s preferable to sitting at a desk wishing that I was at home and not dealing with the normal office b.s.

Although I need to write another post about Philly since Nikki and I finally saw the U2 concert, I just have to share the awesomeness that was her last day in town with me.  We went off to Annapolis, ready to tour around the city and make mayhem.  Instead, while watching a homeless man play with a bit of wire, we saw a consignment shop and decided we’d walk into it’s air conditioned glory.  I’m so glad that we did.  Although they weren’t selling anything that we were interested in, when we asked about baby clothes and other things we were handed a Moonlight Madness Sale flyer, that had the names and addresses of about 15 other consignment shops in the area that were all having a 20% off sale.  A sale on already inexpensive items?  Why yes, and it was fantastic!!

Although the first stop was really far away and pretty much in a cornfield (where I began doubting that Nikki had put the correct address in the GPS) it was a GOLDMINE.  Blooming Deals and Babies in Bloom was essentially a two store-front shop that was filled with treasures.  This wasn’t the crappy, Southern Maryland thrift store of junk and unwanted items; no no, this was a shop where a person could do some real damage.  From designer purses to clothes for women, children and babies (heck there might have been men’s clothes, but I wasn’t looking at that) this place was stacked with awesome stuff.  They had a TON of stuff for kids.  Gently used toys, baby seats, and again, did I mention the clothes.  Nikki and I were in Heaven.  Nikki generously purchased some items for the baby (oops, I almost typed her name, that is not yet ripe for official announcement!)  that she couldn’t pass up, including the cutest little jacket on the planet.  I bought some onesies that were all less than a dollar a piece, and most of them still had the tags on them.  I even bought her two little bathing suits for next summer because no matter how hard I tried, my hands would not move to put them back.  Come on people, there was a little duckie with an umbrella on one of them.  What would you have done?

Although it was lunchtime, for once, the baby was cooperating and I wasn’t overcome by the need to eat, and Nikki was as high on shopping as I was.  As we made our way back towards Annapolis, we stopped in Stevensville at Twice is Nice Consignment Boutique.   I actually felt a little bad when we left because we got such great deals on our haul.  When I first walked in, I found a baby swing that I that I thought would work great at my in-laws house.  I had no intention of having one at home, but for the price, it was going to work great at the in-laws.  ($33 after savings) After grabbing a bunch of 99cent onesies (that were seriously so cute I could puke) I happened upon a bag sitting by the back door of the shop.  The contents of the bag was a very girly (but very cute) crib bedding set.  I asked for a price and the owner said it had just come in and she’d have to price it out.  I’d seen this brand of bedding online and it was usually pretty pricey, so I was thinking it wouldn’t be in the range I was willing to pay for a bedset that wasn’t my first choice.  (and my first choice was so darned cute!)  After a few minutes she comes back with a price…$66 (with discount).  I almost shouted “Sold!” but managed to contain myself as she bagged up the 14 pieces (including 3 fitted sheets, a mattress pad, a lamp and a rug) Although not really my style, it looks AMAZING in the room with the dark crib.  Here’s the link, but remember, I don’t like a ton of matching stuff and this room looks like a Cocalo Sugar Plum bomb went off in it.

So the day was a success.  For under $150, I have a bag of clothes, a swing, an adorable-ish bedding set, and, the best part, I know how to get back to these places when our little girl gets older and I don’t have to spend a fortune dressing her.  I was downright giddy by the time we left and at the end of the day, with my beloved Jimmy Johns in hand, it was really hard to say good-bye to Nikki; my partner in good deals crime.

Laying in a Pool of Melted Chocolates

The Face of Valentine's Day

This year Valentine’s Day really got my mind spinning. The majority of my Facebook friends were on two separate poles; those who seemed depressed for Singles Awareness Day and those who seemed hell bent on proving their value through sharing about how their mate showered them with gifts. As someone who sits squarely in the middle of these two camps, I was at a loss over the hysterics that people go into for a “holiday” that is really just a nice excuse to say “love you” to your friends and family.

So the first camp of people are the depressed folks. Now it’s one thing to be depressed if your spouse died or something of that nature, but if you’re simply depressed because you don’t have a significant other at that moment to share long strands of spaghetti with and nuzzle meatballs too, you’re just being silly. It’s one day people, one damned day that originated as a religious holiday honoring St Valentine. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t see much religion yesterday. The message I want to convey to the “single and lonely” crowd is that you aren’t alone. Most of you have great friends and family that surround you and while you might not have a significant other, it doesn’t change your self-worth. You are loved. You are an important person on this planet of ours and even if you don’t have a box of chocolates to prove it, you must believe me. Because if you’re reading this, likely, you’re pretty important to me, and your definitely terribly important to someone else. So I’m your Valentine, and you’re mine. Lucky you.  Don’t give anyone the satisfaction of making you feel inferior.

And to those people who seem hell bent on proving that they are loved; come off it. There’s one thing to have a nice little post like “aww, my sweetie surprised me with roses” or “he went to Jared!” but five status updates a day about how your lover loves you so much that you must be the most important person on the planet are simply a little sad. It’s like those people who have the testicles hanging off the back of their truck; if you have to wear them on the outside, maybe you’re not terribly secure in the relationship to start with. And maybe you’re super happy that you’re no longer in Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, but just because you (and I for that matter) have a mate, doesn’t mean that we somehow have these great lives and that we live in this perfect world. A relationship should be defined by the people in it, and love cannot be measured by the size of a gift. We are all falling into that trap when we feel let down by our grocery store flowers or gaze longingly at a ring that probably put someone knee deep in debt to purchase. Love isn’t measured that way damnit! I measure the love I have for Mircea (and other friends and family) but the amount of attention I pay to them. Others measure it differently…and I guess, though it sickens me to say it, maybe some people do measure it by the goods and services they receive from those who love them. But I don’t want to accept that, it’s just childish.

Before I piss anyone off too royally, I do want to say that I think Valentine’s Day for kids is a spectacular thing and there is something so fun about passing out Valentines to your friends at school, or surprising your friends with flowers sent to their desk. It’s the whole “placing your self- worth on the size of your bouquet, carat of jewelry, or amount of ice cream you drowned your sorrows in” persona that I can’t stand. Also, people that simply want to celebrate and don’t tie their self worth to it; you are also living in a grounded reality. I’m not saying ignore it, I’m saying “meter it”. I’m also not trying to call anyone out in particular. Out of 200+ Facebook friends, about 50 people were feeling severely affected by Valentine’s Day…so I think most of my friends “get it” about what that day (and sweetest day, and other love based Hallmark holidays) means. It’s nice to take a moment and tell your friends, family or partner that you love each other. But I don’t need a holiday to do it. Or a gift.  And that doesn’t make me better than anyone either, just slightly more reasonable.  Today.

Pets and Gender: Where Are the Crazy Cat Men?

To answer your question Kat, they are on the Internet.  And there aren’t many of them, but the ones out there are N.U.T.S.!

I’ve been called a crazy cat lady before.  It would have hurt my feelings but I realized that I wasn’t a complete and total loser even though I had three cats.  I mean, I was after all, actively dating at the time, so it can be assumed that I wasn’t completely repulsive to the opposite sex despite my furry companions.


Crazy cat men are a different story.  When I met my husband he had a cat and I was confused by this.  Very few men have a cat without having a woman living with them.  (You heard me Tony).  I don’t understand why this is, since cats are very little maintenance depending on your tolerance for an ammonia smell, and they are quite cuddly.  They can also scare off women you aren’t interested in-you can say “oh, you thought I was into you?  Sorry, I’m into cats” and they’ll pretty much leave you alone after that.  Without divulging who told me this story, I will say that I know someone who dated a man who purred at her.  WTF?  I don’t know what his deal was, but apparently he was quite the crazy cat man.

As I alluded to at the beginning of this post, the crazy cat men are mostly all over the Internet.  Dennis Avner turned himself into a cat. Seriously, lip bifurcation and all.  Terrifying.  I’m not sure what kind of dates he’s getting, but I’m guessing it takes someone who is into a scratchy tongue .  Ew.  Most of the blogs I’ve found about men owning cats are focused around two things: 1.) writing articles from their evil cat’s point of view and 2.) proclaiming to the masses that they are not homosexual.  I also found a website called Men and Cats which glorifies (and rightly so) the ownership of cats by, well, men.  Including John Lennon (Love!)  Darby Conley has a great comic called Get Fuzzy, t hat has made me laugh out loud more than I ever imagined.  On a side note, there is also quite a bit of web traffic for Men Without Cats, a little shout out to our friends to the North, of men proud to NOT own cats.  Whatever floats your boat.

For those who like loosely based facts, I’ve created this awesome* table for you.

Moral of the story: You can find just about anything on the internet AND can write about 450 on just about any topic you can think of.

*so awesome in fact that I forgot to take out Microsoft Word’s correction of last names.  Awesome!!

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