So it’s been a big year. I started off the year deciding that it was time to leave the program I’d been working on for 5 years and venture into Program Management. The week before I started the new job I took a little pregnancy test (well, I took two because I wasn’t smart enough to read the first one) and realized that it probably wasn’t the best time to change jobs, but alas, I had already signed on the dotted line.
So 2011 was pretty much the year that started out with vomiting and ended with the best thing that has ever been in my life. I look back on the other years in my life and although many were wonderful, none of them even come close to this year. Nothing in my life even comes close to the way I feel when I hold our little girl and see her pretty little smile. Or here her coo. She has brought so much to my life but the greatest thing that has come out of having her is my sense of self.
I used to feel awkward at parties, feel like I had to hang on to Mircea or another friend, or draw attention to myself with my big mouth. I was recently at a party and I just sort of hung out in the corner, but I was smiling and enjoying those around me. Having Marissa brought me this sense of wholeness and completeness. I don’t need to impress anyone, I don’t need to be anyone in particular. I need to be a good whole person and provide a loving, nurturing home for my daughter. That’s it. It’s not that she’s my entire world, and it’s not that she provides me with my sense of self, but having her made me realize what is truly important. It’s important that I get up and go to work so I can make money and have a sense of accomplishment in my day. It’s important that I drive safely so I can be there for my family. Along those same lines, it’s important that I diet and exercise to extend my life. The most important thing to me now is being a whole person so that I can be 100% for my daughter. And it’s a good feeling to know that I only have to answer to three beings: God, myself, and Little Marissa. Everyone else in my life are the cherries on top.
So while 2010 was a great year, 2011 trumped it by a million and 2012, well, if the world doesn’t end, I think you’re going to be the best year yet.
Happy New Year!
Being Kate 