2010: I Love You THIS Much

I’m a little late writing my Year in Review, but that isn’t a surprise this year. In fact, I have been a little late with a lot of things, or I’ve completely dropped the ball. For those of you that usually received Christmas cards from me, you’ll notice that this year you didn’t see a cup of cheer in your mailbox. For this I apologize. The funny part of it is that I got about half of them done but I was too lazy to finish the other half. And then I felt guilty that only the first half of the alphabet would get them and I didn’t want to play favorites. So I plan on changing my “best wishes for a 2011” to “2012” and hopefully the change from a 1 to a 2 won’t look too messy. Thanks to all of you who took the time to send one to me and the hubby.

I’ve seen a lot of Facebook statuses from people who were happy to have 2010 behind them and ready to move on to 2011. 2010 has been the best year of my life. Not just because I married the man of my dreams (and of my nightmares, don’t worry) this past March but because I finally, FINALLY, feel comfortable with the person I am and I’ve come to terms with my past and I’m looking forward to my future. No more crazy emotions, etc., and no letting my romantic relationships rule my life. I think it’s about time that I had that healthy attitude, but no regrets; it’s here now. So without further ado, here are my top 5 positives of 2010, in no particular order.

Building a closer relationship with my friends Robyn and Rebecca
Even though the circumstances and the timing weeren’t the best for us, 2010 has brought me so much closer to two of my closest friends. I feel so lucky to have these two women who I admire both personally and professionally in my life and I look forward to sharing more experiences with them.  From drunkedly “setting fire” to my house to crying in each others’ arms at Eat Pray Love, we’ve had a roller coaster year filled with sadness, tears, laughter and new experiences.  To many more!

Getting Married
I have always wanted to get married…but it was always for the wrong reasons. I wanted to get married so I could achieve what I felt to be the ultimate acceptance. Thank God I realized how ridiculous that was BEFORE we got married because that is NOT a reason to get married. It’s a nice benefit of getting married, but there are no guarantees in life so that really shouldn’t be the reason. I’m happy to have married someone who I love, respect and appreciate. The greatest moment of my life to this point was exchanging vows with Mircea in St Lucia. I am so incredibly happy with him and the life we are building together.

Philly visit with Nikki
While I’ve singled out a couple of good friends in this year in review there are so many that are getting left out. I’m just hitting the highest points where there was a blatantly obvious moment. When my friend Nikki visited me this summer I just felt…great. It was so nice to spend time with someone who has known me since I was a little kid and who still loves me despite my misspent youth. I did her wrong several times when we were growing up and I’m not sure what the motivations were (it might have been a function of being a 4th grader, I just don’t know) but it still hurts my heart to think that I was mean to someone I love so much. Sadly this was a pattern of my youth but for reasons I come by honestly I’ve forgiven myself for these transgressions. Nikki’s visit was a reminder that redemption is a wonderful thing and that I deserved it. It was so nice to rekindle the friendship that was always there, separated by miles, and when we got together again it was like we hadn’t missed a beat. I look forward to her visiting this year and hopefully she and I will spend equal amounts of time trying out beer and food in our town, this time to be complete with a concert from U2.

Taking Advice
One of the best things I did this year was take some advice from a counselor that I had seen off and on over the years. As we discussed the issues that bothered me about myself and my life she quietly suggested that I might want to consider an anti depressant. Depressed? No, not me. I’m happy go lucky, with a side of snark and angst for good measure. Yes, me. I thought that an antidepressant would change me from the person that I am. A brief foray into Prozac after my mother died stripped me of all emotions. I couldn’t even cry as I mourned my Mom-not cool. However, this time I around I entered the idea of medication with a positive outlook and an open mind. And it has made all the difference. Paired with quiet time and a little prayer, Zoloft has been a Godsend for me and has allowed me to “take the edge off” of things that had been bothering me in the past. I just don’t have the crazy mood swings that would spiral me into saying things I didn’t mean, or picking fights because I was used to it. I’m just me. The Kate that I remember before I let my insecurities get the better of me, the one that others always described as “sweet, caring, and funny”, not the way exes described me “scary, mean, always crying, and dead-sexy”. The only reason I am sharing something so personal is that I want to be honest and say that I was terrified to try this because “I’m not weak, I can take care of this myself” is a ridiculous excuse. A good diet, exercise, supportive friends and family and a few milligrams of “the good stuff” have made me feel like a million bucks.

Adding to our family
And not the way you think. As much as I’ve always wanted children and talked a big game about how much I want them, I’m not ready yet. I’m terrified of all that having children entails, so there are no official “baby-making” plans. (Sorry Dad and Vicki, you’ll be grandparents at some point, I promise). Right now, the newest additions to our family as the ones that are bringing me so much joy I can’t even stand it. Though it started out as a mess, having Blackie and Benny (in addition to our perfect Yukon) has been the greatest thing to us. Our house feels like a home now, and Mircea and I are so much happier with each other too. It’s so silly how our little four legged friends bring us great joy and we’re turning into “those people” who say “my dog did this”. Well, we were always those people; it just started with “my cat did this”. We got lucky with the two that found their way into our hearts. Blackie is just the sweetest thing ever, very protective of our home and very loving. Benny is the silliest little ball of cute that ever existed. He does the wackiest things; in fact, I’m one of the few people who can actually say that their dog brought them flowers.

So that’s it, there’s my year in review, the happiest year of my life to date. There are wonderful things I’m looking forward to in 2011 and I can’t wait to continue enjoying the ride that is my life. Being Kate is finally just, well, great!

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sarah
    Jan 03, 2011 @ 18:43:41

    I love your positive take on 2010! I’m glad you had such a great year, and I hope 2011 is even better. 🙂

    Reply

  2. Missy
    Jan 03, 2011 @ 21:11:21

    Hooray for an awesome year for you, and many more to come!

    Reply

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