American Sad-iators

Everything Old is New Again

Mircea and I watched American Gladiators last night and I have a couple of things to say about it. First of all, did it always seem so overdramatic and ridiculous? When I was a kid, I looked at these people as true athletes, and thought that the Gladiators were real. Last night, while watching the melo-drama of Hulk “brother” Hogan (I swear he said it 1,000 times in one interview) and Laila “I-swallow-my-words-while-I-speak” Ali, I realized that this is 100% staged b.s. This isn’t real. The drama was just all too “perfect” and the underdogs won when it made sense, and it was all just too much for me. While researching this post, I found this article, and felt it was pretty appropriate.

Was it always like this? Those of you that watched this when you were kids-did it just seem like stupid people in spandex? Last night, it seemed just like the WWE, with all its ridiculous drama, tight clothes, and long hair. It was nothing like the glory of Siren, the first deaf Gladiator. There is a new Siren, but she isn’t all that great, and frankly I don’t know why they would reuse that name. Neither did this person who posted on NBC.

why are you using other gladiators names when they are not the original gladiators, like “siren”, siren is Shelly B. I went to high school with her and she is an original, nobody should be using her name period!!!!! Figure it out!!

None of the Gladiators were all the wonderful. Justice just sort of quacked out streams of ebonic-threats that were all too stereotypical (and he should be ashamed!). Wolf was an overly hairy guy (think pre-haircut Metallica) who actually howled…and the first drama was his nemesis, the guy who had tried out for Gladiators a full 14 years prior. Lord if we didn’t hear that story 100 times and show his family every second they could. Do the damned obstacle course!!

The saddest part of the whole night was not that this new American Gladiators sucked. It was the realization that so much of what I enjoyed as a child was under false pretenses. America’s Funniest Home Videos. Pretty funny (sans Saget) right? All those people getting hurt? Those weren’t accidents-they were drunk. I thought people were just funny, but as an adult I see their blurry eyes and know that they are under the influence. Less funny. I really thought that American Gladiators were real, and the realization that the new Gladiators aren’t real made me realize that the old Gladiators weren’t real either. What about the Easter bunny? Is he all bull too? This is all so disillusioning. I will not be watching this anymore-it ruined my childhood too much. I will spend my time watching Ninja Warrior. Maybe I should be at the gym…

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