My "Bubble"

My friend Patty has many many many times reminded me that I need to work on my skills of “self-preservation” and not let people affect me that shouldn’t be doing so. Such good advice, that I seem to never have the courage to take. I seem to want to find that validation in people.

Last night was a test of my co-dependancy issues. A guy that I met out in California was feeling really down and depressed and I could feel myself “falling for him”(as in finding myself wanting to save him and dating him if that was the way to do so) so I could help him. I should have “helped him” by calling the proper authorities and then ran like hell for the hills. Instead I said that I’d like to see him while I’m out there and he said he’d call. I’ll give myself some points on this…I totally caught myself getting involved with someone because I can “save” them, and I’m aware that I need to watch myself around him. BREAK THIS CYCLE. (that’s a command to myself)

In other news, no call from Romanian boy, and according to popular opinion, too much time has passed and he will not be calling. I am definitely disappointed because he seemed interesting (and cute) enough to want to talk to again, he does not define my self worth. Maybe he thought I was ugly, maybe he had a girlfriend, maybe he’s too afraid to call, maybe he thought “that girl was too drunk, I don’t want to associate with that”, or 100 other reasons that DO NOT AFFECT ME and I shouldn’t let them hurt me.

I’m going to get some glasses tonight I think. That makes me nervous because I don’t think I have very good taste in stuff like that. I like “cat glasses” but I’m not sure that I can pull them off.


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